mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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