I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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