Screwed.edu
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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