just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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