That's intense
If that was your dad, he is hot
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
