His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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