he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
