i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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