Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
