Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
