my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
nutella sex= disaster
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize