That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
