dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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