butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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