Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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