i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
