He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
