We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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