jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
