Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
