No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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