I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
