My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
