Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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