Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out

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(205): soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out http://tfl.nu/q1wd

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(817): View more from Texas

Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation

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(817): Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation http://tfl.nu/c4tn

Replies (37) Good night (1422) Bad night (4520)
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(314): View more from Missouri

no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.

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(314): no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive. http://tfl.nu/qwvv

Replies (19) Good night (6969) Bad night (784)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?

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(720): Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head? http://tfl.nu/r6cb

Replies (20) Good night (8271) Bad night (2177)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.

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(773): Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name. http://tfl.nu/27vq

Replies (15) Good night (5698) Bad night (1889)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless

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(763): someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless http://tfl.nu/hdeq

Replies (10) Good night (4731) Bad night (1114)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention

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(978): fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention http://tfl.nu/iald

Replies (7) Good night (920) Bad night (3751)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor

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(402): I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor http://tfl.nu/v346

Replies (2) Good night (2600) Bad night (921)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.

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(808): You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him. http://tfl.nu/k2hw

Replies (27) Good night (1686) Bad night (3356)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher

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(401): She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher http://tfl.nu/uenp

Replies (16) Good night (2408) Bad night (2643)
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(678): View more from Georgia

ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do

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(678): ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do http://tfl.nu/pgwu

Replies (3) Good night (578) Bad night (1089)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.

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(508): It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law. http://tfl.nu/9zdw

Replies (8) Good night (1283) Bad night (597)
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(786): View more from Florida

I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.

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(786): I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3w3a

Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (317)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.

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(973): Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos. http://tfl.nu/ye3t

Replies (1) Good night (763) Bad night (366)
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(734): View more from Michigan

But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs

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(734): But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs http://tfl.nu/hjry

Replies (1) Good night (203) Bad night (358)

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