Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just pynch a tree in the face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I just pynch a tree in the face http://tfl.nu/eknu
  Replies (6) Good night (1171) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen. http://tfl.nu/yxbj
  Replies (43) Good night (2814) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume. http://tfl.nu/wyb3
  Replies (26) Good night (5654) Bad night (1493)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?! http://tfl.nu/evmd
  Replies (28) Good night (3828) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  either way he was missing a nipple.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): either way he was missing a nipple. http://tfl.nu/17oh
  Replies (18) Good night (798) Bad night (5913)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal? http://tfl.nu/dwfw
  Replies (20) Good night (1296) Bad night (4106)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her. http://tfl.nu/1bms
  Replies (13) Good night (4745) Bad night (1341)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask. http://tfl.nu/gfxs
  Replies (12) Good night (926) Bad night (2986)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated. http://tfl.nu/dcl8
  Replies (6) Good night (1689) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder. http://tfl.nu/bkbj
  Replies (11) Good night (2137) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits http://tfl.nu/2zgj
  Replies (4) Good night (999) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?" http://tfl.nu/owjc
  Replies (3) Good night (746) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came. http://tfl.nu/h4s8
  Replies (5) Good night (1457) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect http://tfl.nu/1a0b
  Replies (3) Good night (219) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I know that feel bro

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom (405): I know that feel bro http://tfl.nu/xhva
  Replies (2) Good night (440) Bad night (213)

Randomize