The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
