So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence