Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
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according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
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Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha