I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
