She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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