Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My Higher Power is John Stamos
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
