Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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