Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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