I'm really into asian looking animals
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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