Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
