guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
