Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
