It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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