No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize