i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
