The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
