Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
