is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I look better un-naked...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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