Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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