How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
