I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
