hell yes lets make some ravioli
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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