You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
