So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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