I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
