Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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