And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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