I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You just made me feel so damn special
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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