"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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