I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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