i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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