At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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