Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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