Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
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