a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
